Interview 2: Melissa* and Renee*

*(names have been changed)
the following are the notes from my interview with Melissa, Renee and Charles on 9 October, 2005 from 8:45-10:00PM.

On my way back from my first interview, I saw the cute girl I had passed earlier (see Introduction). I asked her and her friends if I could do an interview. They consented, saying, "perfect; we were just talking about making really great hash brownies." I sit down.

JR: I actually know a couple things about great brownies. I do these dinners where, like, all six courses are infused with weed.
MM: wow! can we come?!?!?!
CC: Yeah, I used to do stuff like that. One time, we clarified some chef's butter with weed and spread it on some poached salmon. Probably sacrilege, but it was awesome. You guys should try chocolate and 'shrooms.
MM: I'm not a fan of shrooming.
CC: You haven't done it with the right people.

JR: Is there anything you haven't told anyone before? I don't mean like a deep, dark secret, just something that hasn't come up.
[Charles leaves to return to his job]
MM: I pee in the shower. Don't tell my suitemates. It's just so warm and it makes you wanna pee, and it feels so good.
RR: ...

[Charles comes back, holding some straws]
CC: Girls, I just was serving a bachelorette party, and they left these behind, and I thought you'd get a kick out of 'em.
RR: Straws?
[Charles unfolds his hands, revealing tiny penises attached to the other ends of the straws]
MM: Oh, my God! They're penis straws!
RR: I just like holding it against my lips.
MM: When I was going down . . . when I was giving head . . . yeah.
RR: I love the heads of penises. They're so soft.
CC [in a very fake, over the top voice]: stop, girls, you're turning me on.
[Charles leaves]

JR: So, what did you do for shits and giggles when you were 8?
RR: You know how in cartoons banana peels are really slippery? I used to try to slide around on banana peels on our hardwood floors. It works for a second because they're gooey, but then they dry up.
MM: I did my babysitter's dishes and organized her spice cabinet.
JR: Like Monica [Geller].
MM: well, more selective in what I cleaned
RR: I always loved dress-up
MM: and abusing barbies
RR: Yeah, playing with their clothes was ok, but destroying their hair was always the best.
MM: I probably peed my pants a lot at 8. Oh, this is to your earlier question: I used to wet the bed. Not like, in high school, but after it's normal.
RR: oh yeah, and until last year, all through high school, I only showered every other day.
MM: How often were you hooking up with people?
RR: Oh, every day.

[a group starts chatting near us, and we can easily overhear their conversation]
MM: I hate hearing other people's conversations.
RR: Yeah, me, too. Though I like to hear little snippets. The other day I was getting in the elevator, and all I heard was "...so since humans don't really have any predators then by default bigger really is better."
MM: We love people watching though. I love judging and criticising people I've never met and never will on stuff that's totally superficial. It's totally wrong, but it's just a fun game.
RR: And I like making up stories about the people.

[Melissa continues playing with the straw against her lips. In fact, she does this for most of the rest of the interview. When she isn't playing with the straw, she's biting her lower lip, or rubbing them together.]
MM: I just started dating someone new, and last night I got one of my fetishes. I love getting ejaculated on. That was totally fun!
RR: Yeah!

JR: When you go out to a coffee shop or whatever, do you bring props?
RR: Props?
JR: yeah, like . . . [I show them a friendship bracelet I'm working on]. Y'know, like the Sex and the City episode where she decides to go out for dinner with nothing to defend her? Nothing to make her look not lonely?
RR: My cell phone.
MM: Yeah, always have the cell phone.
RR: I put my phone up to my ear and pretend to talk, even though nobody's on the other end.
MM: Yeah, I do that when I see someone I know, but I want to avoid.

JR: so, when you go out, what percentage of the time do you want attention from others, and what percentage do you just want to not be at home, but be left alone?
RR: Does it count if you just go out with one person?
JR: sure
RR: I'd say more often, I go out to interact.
MM: Same, but not late at night. And during the week I like to avoid the messiness of dealing with relationships and friendships. I just want to do my thing.

[RR looks distant]
JR: Renee has something on her mind. What are you thinking? Any other weird stories?
MM: well, about someone a friend.
Both: Jackie!* [name also changed]
MM [in a very negative tone]: She always talks about being a model, but she's not that pretty. She makes up a lot of shit. She's really proud of her father owning a cokehouse and whorehouse in LA. One time, her parents came to town and brought a bunch of her friends back to their hotel room and smoked them up and did tons of drugs with them.
JR: And you guys call this girl a friend?
RR: well, more before. Not so much now.
MM [almost wistfully]: I feel like I've been a really bad friend to her sometimes.
RR [comfortingly]: But at the same time, she's done a lot of shitty things.

JR: what are your thoughts on the future?
RR: I'm obsessed with languages.
MM: I'm afraid of not living up to expectations.
JR: Whose?
MM: everyone's. parents. friends. classmates. I guess everyone is afraid of that.
RR: Lately, I've struggled a lot with deciding how important money is to me. And how important it is to marry someone who is - well, not rich, but has aspirations. Y'know? What is success? It's not just money; it's doing what you love.
JR: well, there are those who do a job that they can do, but don't love so they have enough money to do what they do love. Like me.
MM: yeah, I can see that.
RR: no, I think that's just selling yourself short. I'm scared of graduation.
MM: Yeah, me, too. I hate that we're paying $40 thousand a year and we rush through all this stuff. Like taking tests instead of writing papers. I'd much rather write papers; and I'd learn so much more. When I cram for a test, I forget it all in a week.
RR: I like tests; I feel like I cram for papers, but I guess it depends.
MM: I love writing papers because you can say whatever you want. You're not limited to what the professor puts on the test.
JR: Do you write a blog?
MM: No, because I feel like at least subconsciously you're writing for posterity, so it's not completely truthful. Not like you're lying, but that you're leaving things out.
JR: You should try it high
RR: No, I just get really stupid. One time, I was in Amsterdam, and my friend and I got the most stoned of our lives and we made this really complicated business plan and shook on it. The next day, we both were like, "yeah, let's cancel that deal."

JR: What do you think of the dating game? I've heard some people say they love it, some say that they'll play because everyone else does, and some say that they won't play games no matter what.
MM: At the beginning, it's just there to protect your heart, and everyone has to do that. I really enjoy it when it gets complicated; that can be fun.
JR: Do you like logic games, like chess?
MM: Yeah, I used to play chess with my dad all the time.
JR: You should try Qoridor; I used to get trounced by my girlfriend at that game.
RR: I like the beginning of the dating game. Eventually, it just gets to be a bit much, and it can be good to set a "no-games" ultimatum.
MM: Yeah, you should really do that tomorrow.
RR: I think I will.
[Renee remembers something]
RR: Oh, I used to love corrupting people, but I don't do it any more because you should just let people be.

JR: what fun party games do you play from like 9th grade?
MM: I had a weird high school experience, so we didn't really have party games.
RR: me, neither. But there's always drinking games and stuff. Ooh, we should play drinking Cranium or drunken naked twister. I've always wanted to do that.

[The girls get up to go to the bathroom together]

JR: tell me about girls going to the bathroom together. You don't have to tell me what you two were just talking about.
RR: It's nice to have company.
MM: yeah, and you get to talk about things. I feel totally comfortable with my girl friends in the bathroom with me. The guys I'm dating can see me pee, or puke, but that's it.
RR: yeah, I felt really bad about this one guy. He was holding my hair back while I was puking, and it made him throw up. The smell always gets you.

JR: Tell me about your ideal way to meet a guy and have the first few dates. What's your fantasy?
RR: Ideally, I'd meet him in an intellectual atmosphere, but not school. Like at a museum or reading a good book. He should come up to me - it's a really big turn-on if he approaches me and say something about the environment we're in.
MM: I like the idea of running into someone randomly and having that spark - it doesn't have to be intellectual - eye contact is key.
RR: yeah, eye flirting is great. [To Melissa] You've always been more forward; you can approach guys.
MM: Someone's gotta do it. It can be a fun role-reversal.
RR [to Melissa, and more sweetly than any previous statement]: Would you help me recognize when to approach guys? I feel like I'm not too shy a person; I just don't know when to do it.
MM: Yeah, totally. You just need a push.

[end]